Hsct-Multiple Sclerosis

Road to diagnosis

Like most people with Multiple Sclerosis, I went through a phase of feeling like a crazy person. I had labs checked and tests run but could not pinpoint what I now realize was my first symptom, fatigue. I would always tell my doctors I'm too young to feel this tired; this is not typical, and I don't feel renewed after sleep. I was also way more forgetful than what seemed normal for my age. I lived on calendars and sticky notes but still didn't feel organized in my mind and body. I was also rather clumsy but now realize my brain and body struggled to communicate. At the time, I was still in my late 20s early 30s, but everything kept coming back within the normal range and was chalked up to me being a new mom.

Years went on, presenting even more challenges after my second child. I kept telling family and friends that something was off. I didn't feel like myself. I started having inexplicable mood changes, the cloud of exhaustion wouldn't lift, and I was having weird localized pain in one area of my brain. Finally, I decided to see a Functional Medicine doctor who said everything was normal but only borderline. We came up with a plan to start treating things one by one, so my body would function optimally rather than minimally. Dr. McMinn was the first doctor who helped give me some relief for the depletion of Vitamin D, my inability to concentrate and level my mood. Unfortunately, while several of these things helped, they didn't completely resolve what I was combating. This cycle continued until I finally had a more prominent symptom that couldn't be ignored.

It was a crisp October night, and we'd gone to Zombie Paintball. I stood up after our ride and had numbness in both my feet, and it felt like I was walking on sand. I thought maybe they were just asleep, so I dismissed the very odd sensation. Instead, I drove home, which probably wasn't the best idea, and woke up the next day with the same sensation realizing it had never gone away. I waited two weeks before telling my husband, who insisted I see my primary care physician.

My nurse practitioner, Stephanie Gale, whom I trust very much, was initially thinking pinched nerve or something with an easy fix but thought the symptoms were strange and warranted further investigation to be on the safe side. After my MRI, she called and asked me to come into her office, so I knew it would not be good. My mom went with me for moral support. My doctor said, 'I'm sorry, your scans came back showing scarring in the brain, which can indicate Multiple Sclerosis. I want to refer you to a neurologist for further testing and a definitive diagnosis."

I remember hearing the words, which are forever seared into my brain but not processing the magnitude of what she was saying. I had heard of Multiple Sclerosis but didn't know anything about it. I remember seeing tears in her and my mom's eyes. I had no emotion at the time because it was almost like an out-of-body experience.

I am typically a researcher because I like to know as much as possible since I don't like surprises, but this was different. It was almost as if my brain went into a protective mode and wouldn't allow me to read or research anything. So I decided to wait until I met with the neurologist, enabling him to tell me everything I needed to know.

It wasn't until later that I realized my life had just changed forever, receiving a diagnosis with no cure. Dr. Meador's confirmation finally allowed me to crumble under the magnitude of my diagnosis. He assured me that if there were ever a time to have this disease, it was now since there were so many treatments available. I allowed myself to sit in my feelings then knew I had to put my game face on. My personality likes to see what I'm facing, best and worst-case scenarios, and get a game plan in place. That was the beginning of living daily with uncertainty, the realm I operate least successfully.